I have been having an epiphany. Yes having, not 'had'. This hasn't been an immediate manifestation, like turning on a light bulb with only the flick of a switch. This has been more of a gradual increase of light, as if there is a dimmer knob to turn.
I recently started to read about the Law of Attraction and how like attracts like. Positive energy attracts the like by way of positive thinking and gratefulness. So, I have been making a concerted effort to be more positive in my thought process and also grateful for small things. It is nearly impossible to change all of the some 100,000 thoughts I have daily, but I'm making the effort to change some of my old 'cynical' and 'pessimistic' ways of thinking.
The biggest thing for me lately has been being grateful. So, I've tasked myself with writing down 5 things (big or small) that I am grateful for every day. I really write ANYTHING as long as I am truly grateful for it. Some of my past gratitude has gone to my umbrella, Sianna's pacifier, my fiance, a lock on the front door, etc. :-)
I can admit that I spent the first few months of Sianna's life, angry. Angry at the doctors who gave me prenatal care and didn't diagnose her in utero, angry at the doctors who did diagnose her post delivery, angry at God for letting me win the genetic lottery but never the Mega Millions, etc. I HAD to change my thinking about these issues. The anger would eat me alive! It tried!
SO WHAT the doctors didn't tell me in utero about her Achon. Maybe I would have had a sad, loathing pregnancy. Thinking that something was 'wrong' with my baby when it ISN'T!!!
SO WHAT she was diagnosed with Achon by a not-so-friendly doctor shortly after her birth. Thank GOD she didn't come in to tell me that her chances of survival were slim or something truly hard to deal with.
and speaking of God,
SO WHAT he thought it best that I won the genetic lottery and not the Mega Millions. If I had, I'd probably just have a cold closet full of Chanel and Louboutins......
wait.... that didn't help....
I'm still mad I haven't won the Mega Millions.
But getting back to the point - I AM grateful to God that my baby is special and one of a special group of beautiful people. I always knew I'd have a kid who'd be a show off. ;-)
Be grateful for ANY thing and EVERY thing you can. The energy is intoxicating.
With gratefulness....
XOXO
Sianna and Alisha
Family Pictures 2018
5 years ago
6 comments:
A wonderful way to look at life. It's amazing, no matter how bad the day, there's always something to be grateful for, and our children daily give us something to be grateful for. And I totally second the "special group of people." I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it, too.
Yes my dear Yes! The light is truly brightening, it's cracking through the horizon like the morning sun and it's just beginning. As I said before Sianna has come to teach us all the true meaning of this life and the things that REALLY matter, so at the end of the day we can all be full and satisfied with life's true treasures. Team Sianna!
Wow...I never saw these before and I just read ALL of them...your princess is beautiful...we all get caught up in what WE think is right or wrong for us or what should or shouldn't happen in our lives that we forget we are NOT in charge..everything happens for a reason and as u stated you have to thank Him for everything both good and "bad"..big or small..God don't make no mistakes..I kno I don't have to tell you that..your daughter is perfect in her own way just as you are..glad you shared this blog and now that I know it exists I will keep up..
Vanessa - I love that Sianna is a rare gem. She is awesome :)
@ Tina - I believe you are absolutely correct. She has come to teach us all some important lessons and add some depth to each of our pools - which may or may not have been quite shallow in the beginning.
@kadjsmom - I'm not sure exactly what God's plan was yet, but I'm down with whatever it is. She is an absolute joy and I can either bask in her glow and enjoy every day of our lives together or spend time laboring over the 'why' and 'how come'. I'd rather have fun :)
You are so right. Our children are amazing and a special gift from God. They truly open our eyes to show us the true meaning of life and love. PS- I went through all these same emotions-- it will get better I promise!!
Great entry cousin. I'm praying for you. Not like a fake ' i'm praying for you' but a real...When i think of you I pray earnestly. Want you to know that.
Check out the book, One Thousand Gifts by Anna Voskamp. Really good changed and enhanced my perspective on thankfulness.
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Thanks for reading!!! <3 Sianna's Mom